The other day at the supermarket, a woman in a wheelchair asked me to reach up and pull down a sale-price DVD for her. It was “Ten Things I Hate About You”.
“That’s a good one,” I said, trying to be doubly helpful. “It’s based on a Shakespeare play, um, can’t remember which one.”
The woman raised an eyebrow like she didn’t believe me and I felt pretty stupid so I tried to provide more information: “It’s probably more a film for young people.” As soon as the words were out of my mouth I realised how awful they sounded and I scurried away without looking back.
The award that I mentioned yesterday asks me to name Ten (Awesome?) Things About Me, and that idea made me want to scurry away too but here they are:
10. I was an A+ biology student at school and then I went on to major in Cinema Studies at university. No, I don’t know either.
9. My hair is naturally red, becoming naturally white.
8. I have 347,982 freckles (approx.).
7. I am the one who takes spiders out of our house in a jar.
6. I’ve had more than 20 (wildly different) jobs, not including my present one.
5. I’ve written a play and directed 6 or 7, sometimes for money but mostly for fun.
4.Some of those plays were in Italian (I used to be able to speak it but now non ricordo).
3. Someone once named a goat after me. Odd but true. (The goat in the sailor suit below is by Gyo Fujikawa).
2. I’ve been cutting pictures out of magazines and collecting bits of paper (postcards, found notes, labels, other people’s photographs etc) since I was a child.
1. Not long ago, I walked –hobbled– around for a week without knowing that I had a sewing machine needle wedged under my kneecap.***
Beware, all you Stunt Sewers!
***What I mean is, I didn’t know what was causing the excruciating pain! (The radiologist went pale and stopped looking me in the eye after taking these X-Rays).
Thanks for listening X