We’re a story-loving family so we have no qualms about sharing tales and building anticipation about a visit from mythical Santa Claus. Indeed, we know that anything could happen, because we had a guest who entered through the chimney a few weeks ago.
We had arrived home from Melbourne to find that the house had been ransacked. It was quite confronting and confusing, because the kitchen was the most disturbed and nothing seemed to be missing. (At first I thought our bedroom was in a shocking state, too, but then I realised that was how we had left it!)
The culprit, it became clear, was a possum who had fallen down the chimney and had a sort of “Goldilocks” experience in our house. It had eaten from the fruit bowl, slept in our beds (horrible, I know) and pooped absolutely everywhere. Poor thing had been stuck in our house for days, and we didn’t see any evidence of an exit but frankly we were too busy trying to deal with the mess and get the kids to bed and didn’t think much of it.
The last thing I said to my man before we finally crashed ourselves was: “wouldn’t it be funny, in a horror movie kind of way, if it were still in the house?”
Cut to: Bedroom, midnight, darkness. Scritchy scratchy noises, drowsy waking, he gets up to turn on the light and it is right there, in front of him. He yells and it shoots up, like a cartoon ninja, to cling to the door frame above.
And seriously folks, in this sort of situation: Who You Gonna Call? There is no Possum Emergency Line. It looks cute in the photo (pink nose!) but these guys are aggro and hissy when cornered and scared. They have really sharp claws. We didn’t know what to do.
So we were up for hours, devising plans, cutting off routes, negotiating, coaxing with dried fruit. Eventually we just went to sleep with the front door open and it was gone by morning.
Santa Claus? He’s welcome any time. Even if he does turn out to be real, I doubt he’ll poo in our house or sleep in our beds.
(Do you like our Christmas “tree”? It’s a branch of cypress that I found on the side of the road on a recent drive out of town).